Sunday, February 10, 2008

Village South

Woke up cold this morning, it's been a while since I've slept outside. Tried not to think about what happened last night, just trying to focus on what I need to do; find mersayochan.

I sat in the field a while; deciding whether to head west to village south or just take the north road through the woods. The real decision was whether to go anywhere at all, or just break down and cry again. Forced myself to move, pushing every thought out of my head and into my limbs. Mobilizing my inner pain as physical strength. I think I made record time to village south. Blind, thoughtless running and streaming sweat has a way of purging the mind.

I must be in a serious mood, calling it village south like the adults. All the kids call it the dark market. Good memories of sneaking into the dark market and gawking at the strange wares...good memories of friends I'll never see again. Can't not think about it, the truth is staring down at me.

Actually my black angel is. Damn him to chaos. He just stands there, tormenting me with his presence. Even now he's reading this and I can hear his silent laugh echo through my head. It is because I am the seer's son that I must be cursed with a black angel? How many others are cursed as I? Or is it as he says, that I am alone in my anguish?

Hadn't been to village south for a while, it isn't as bad as childhood memories and Grandmother's stories made it out to be. Found a welcoming mother to take me in, there isn't much room to sleep among the dozens of children here, but I don't think I will be able to sleep for a while anyway. I wonder how many of these children are orphans like me, but I don't want to ask. Village south is a place to look, to barter, but never to inquire. Those tales I still believe.

Sun is going down and my eyes are growing weary. Besides the kids around me are passing curious eyes over my journal, and rightly so; not many orphans come into possesion of as fine a book as mine. Time to rest.


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